the cat's out of the bag

She knows. I mean really knows. Like could not lie to her about it again, knows. Yep, Alicyn has it all figured out. She randomly, like most of our deep conversations start I might add, tells me this (at first I typed asked but quickly realized it was wishful thinking)

Alicyn - Santa is not real mom, and don't lie to me and tell me he is
Me - huh, what are you talking about?
Alicyn - I already know mom, don't lie
Me - ok fine, you are right.

I mean what were my other options? I need her to trust me, and yes I do think she is too young to be figuring this all out but she did tell em not to lie to her. So, even though she is only 8, I told her. She quickly added in that the Easter Bunny isn't real either. She hasn't mentioned the tooth fairy but I am certain that its next on the list. As she sat there in the back of my parents expedition and processed it all, it was like little light bulbs flashing lighting up the back seat.

Alicyn - now wonder i never got the trampoline i asked for, you guys hate trampolines
Me - yep
Alicyn - you and dad ate all the cookies and drank the milk!
Me - Yep
Alicyn - so you got me the makeup and Jaxon the mustang....
Me - Yep
Alicyn - oh nice touch mom. That's why the Ipod Touch came from you and dad and NOT Santa.
Me - yep.

I have made her promise on her life practically that she not tell a soul. I explained that you can still believe in the spirit of Christmas even though you know that Santa is not real. And that lots of kids older than her still believe, and that it would be horrible terrible if she ruined it for someone especially her little brother. I got the "I know mom" look but I am still terrified that its going to randomly come up in conversation as it did with me. I even went as far as to tell her that if someone asks her if she believes in Santa that its ok to say yes. (I know it makes no sense, here I am saying that I need her to trust me and now I am telling her to lie). WTH. This is going to quick, I wasn't prepared for this discussion on a random Sept evening. Sheesh. Now what? Lord. So there you have it, the cat is out of the bag. Bigtime.